i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
