My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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