I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Say something about gay babies.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
