No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
