Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My vagina is officially offended.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
