also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I hope mine doesn't look like that
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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