I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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