hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
