i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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