Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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