Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
