i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
