I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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