just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
