I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I forget how to act sober
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
