She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize