anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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