Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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