I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
