I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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