Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You took a bar mat shot.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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