Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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