woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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