Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
