don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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