shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Did I show you my penis last night?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
