the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize
