Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
