Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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