We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
