i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
