note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
