So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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