I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
