super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
