I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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