You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
