3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
