if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
