Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
