Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
