you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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