Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
