Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
