I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i think im in europe. pls send help
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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