Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
