we have pet lesbian snakes
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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