My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
