yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
