if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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