I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
